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Special Export.net would like to invite you to the fourth annual Special Export cabin party. This wondrous star studded event , will be held from August 15th –August 17th, in Cotton, at the fabled Castle of Count Z Walker (cabin).
Directions: (click
here for interactive map)
• Take Hwy 53 North (towards Hibbing) to Cotton. Feel free to stop
off at Pure Pleasures. I prefer straight porn.
• Go for 20 or so miles. You should be in the middle of nowhere.
• Take a right on Comstock Lake Rd. (At the only Spur Gas Station/bar/restaurant/civilization
between Duluth and Hibbing)
• Follow Comstock Lake Rd to Munger Shaw Rd. Past the rail-road
tracks.(Approximately 6 miles)
• Turn right and follow to Elde Rd <caution dirt road> (Approximately
2 miles)
• Follow Elde Rd. to the end and go through the gate we are the
3rd cabin on the right.
• There is a telephone up there if you get lost 218-482-3442 (no
answering machine), cell phone reception can be limited.
Things to Bring: • BEER, I will have a keg of beer. When that runs out I will start stealing beers from peoples' coolers (A trick I learned from E. Holmes). • Tent – limited sleeping arrangements but numerous sleeping "partners". • Chair – If you don’t have one, don’t worry...you can sit on the ground. • Sleeping bag and a pillow. • Lawn games (we have cowboy golf, and I think bocce) • Money, see “Costs” below • Face paint or body paint is always welcome. • Towel and sunscreen; Since it's Cotton, MN, possibly a winter/rain coat. • Fishing stuff, there is a lake and you can use it (please not for pissing). • Smokes (smoke 'em if you got 'em) • Clothes, if you don’t want to wear them, no big deal.* • Snacks, chips and the like would be a good thing. If somebody brings Top the Tater, that would be appreciated (physically). • Music, we have a stereo with an Ipod hookup. If anybody has Jock Jams that is always a hit (amongst jocks). • Firewood: the more the merrier. *exception for E. Holmes; for reasons I don't want to go into he must have at least a poncho on. (when did they start calling condoms "ponchos"?) |
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What we will have:
• Food (brats and kabob’s, other stuff that you can grill)
if you have
special dietary needs please contact me.
• Firewood
• Dudes
• At least two women
• Glee!
• Outdoor bathrooms, possibly remodeled.
• People who have not showered in a few days.
This years events will include competition in these skill challenges:
• Cowboy Golf
• Rings
• Bocce ball
• Whiffle ball---extra bats and balls and gloves would be appreciated.
• Alcohol responsibility (no one has ever won in this category)
• Pugle sticks and water guns -- this year let's refrain from using
all of our drinking water to incite gang style water violence.
• Grab-Ass.
• Bean Bag Toss -- Thanks Juno you handsome devil
Cost:
Costs for the acquisition of goods and services for our gala affair will
be divided equally amongst the participants in the interest of societal
equality...or something. (usually like $20) Questions? Email
me.
In response to a number of questions posed to me when I sent out the Evite earlier this month, I thought for the benefit of all I would try to answer them:
Q/A
Bob Melgeorge (+ 1 guest)
(05/01)
Wonder who's pants will end up on the roof this year?
If past experiences have taught me anything E. Holmes will be searching
for his pants once again this year ("You know what's a good movie?"
"Cat on a Hot Tin Roof". "Screw movies, where are my pants?".
This will be followed by a short
chuckle until everyone realizes Holmes sleeps in the nude.)
johnj848
(04/30)
I am in, but how come Ifeel like I am being suckered into tearing down
your old out house and building another one. Never mind I am probably
just reading to much into this. right?
What would make you think such things? Totally unrelated statement: I will need you to bring a shovel in case we have any evidence that needs thorough disposal.
jtraymond_10
(04/30)
Who's the lucky ass to christen the new outhouse?
With so many asses to choose from, will it even matter? I think the answer is best provided from Sun Tzu:
To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme
excellence consists in conquering the outhouse without fighting.
-Sun Tzu, the Art of War (paraphrased)
adamapparel
(04/30)
My wife's is so scared she's not coming. Can't wait to make her fears
a reality.
And I can't wait to make your ass my trophy.
tim.firn
(+ 1 guest) (04/30)
You couldn't have picked a better time to start the show. I'm in and will
bring Scotty for sure. He's the corn hole..
Well that solves the corn hole problem.
Tim your special talents of "stopping" runners from getting to second base were truly missed last year. Looking forward to having you back on the team.
rfarber
(04/30)
I'm ready, I'm excited and I'm scared. I'm a lot scared.
Don't worry your fears will soon be realized when this year we brainstorm on how to create a slip-N-slide down to the lake.
luke granmoe
(04/30)
this year, i'm not gonna puke...
I am taking bets this year I will give 3 - 1 that Luke pukes in my shoes. Any takers?
aklageson
(04/30)
should i bring skin grafts for zach along with the first aid kit?
HA HA! This year I will be wearing pants!
janelle
(+ 2 guests) (04/30)
hellzzzzzzzz yes
I assume the thought of me with shirt off caused you too a have a minor orgasm and created the extra Z's. Sorry Jess no hard feeling, we will always be the bash brothers.
terminator-e
(05/21)
Not sure how much vacation I will have then? I have not had any vaccine
shots either!
As evidenced by your prolonged delusions of Brett Favre not playing for
the Vikings.
hahahahahahahahahahaha!
skunky74
(05/04)
I shall see what my liver says, but man, I'm getting too old for this
shit... </DannyGlover>
I have spoken with your liver and have been given authority to clear you for duty. Now your wedding on the other hand I can't speak for, unless you are looking for an ordained Jedi knight to perform the ceremony.
pete.fosz
(+ 1 guest) (05/01)
Travel schedule is going to make a mess of my life until the fall, I can't
guarantee anything 4 months out, but the heads up is nice!
Pete, as the only man to have puked on his way home, not 1/4 mile from the cabin, your type of spontaneity is always needed.
Dan
Muhr (04/30)
Not sure yet but thanks for the 4 month notice. I will do my best to make
sure Team Special X is well represented!!!
So you will be in jail, or in a love triangle with monkeys?
christopher.buck (04/30)
Man, I am committed to another gig that weekend but I am not sure exactly
when. If it is Sunday I will try to make it. How long will you be in town?
Depends on how long I can keep my ankle bracelet from going off, I am guessing I have a week.
Final results from the questions posted on the Evite invitation:
Do we want a keg of beer, or cases of beer, or no beer?
14 Responses
[5: Keg, 4: cases, 3: clams, 2: no]
I have obtained one keg of Michelob Golden something or other, it is probably light. Ice is never a bad thing, so if you are picking up smokes or gas; grab some ice (for the bodies).
Are you willing to share your tent with me or Holmes?
14 Responses
[10: No, 4: Yes]
For those that said yes (and you know who you are) be prepared for what we commonly refer to as a 'Blanket Party".
Do you think I am sexy?
11 Responses
[6: Oh YES, 4: YES!, 1: Yes]
It's good to see such an outpouring of support. I didn't want to mention this, but I quit working out 5 months ago (ie: 1 year) so my sexiness can be seen and smelled for miles.
Are you interested in purchasing a jersey?
9 Responses
Adam "Not Corolla" Hubert has agreed to make this years shirts, and although there will not be another set of Markus underwear (still available for purchase), this years baseball style tee's look to be better then ever. I have purchased a fair amount and will be selling them for $10 plain, and $15 with an authentic urine stain. I will have pictures of the three different kinds of jerseys.
I am encouraging car pooling, so if you are riding up by yourself you are making a mistake.
Be forewarned that we allow dogs at this party, so no funny business!